Your Willy Is Not A Toy

Artwork: Letters To Loved & Photos: @Youthedaddy


This hilarious poem was written by Giles for his one year old son Teddy. You can read more of his work on his blog You The Daddy and follow their adventures on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.




Yes, you have a willy,

it’s what makes you a boy,

but please be advised, son,

that thing’s not a toy…


At this stage of life,

it’s just used for peeing,

so try not to break it

(for your own wellbeing).


I know it seems fun

and can be a right laugh,

to give it a tug

while you’re bored in the bath.


Or how, when you’re naked,

it makes you quite happy,

to give it a flick

as I’m changing your nappy.


And how, yes, it jiggles

whenever you cough,

but yank it much harder,

it just might come off…


It’s true, when you stretch it,

it does look quite long,

but don’t pinch the end, son,

that’s all kinds of wrong…


It may seem small now,

but that’s perfectly fine.

Just eat all your veggies,

it’ll be bigger than mine.


It’s not made of plastic,

so handle with care,

‘cos causing it damage

would be a nightmare.


As not much on earth

could be less appealing

than having a todger

with no sense of feeling.


And nobody wants that;

it wouldn’t be funny.

You can’t buy another

for love nor for money.


Plus when you get older

it’ll be much more fun;

I won’t tell you why yet

‘cos you’re only one…


But trust me on this, boy,

when you’re big and tall,

your willy will be your

best friend of them all.


These days I have completed one of the most beautiful works of my life, when you are bigger, I will tell you about it.

Artwork: Charlotte Peach

Albert Einstein wrote the following letter to his 11 year old son Albert in 1915, the same year he finished his theory of general relativity. He was living in Berlin, estranged from his wife Mileva and their town sons who were staying in Vienna.

My dear Albert,

Yesterday I received your dear letter and was very happy with it. I was already afraid you wouldn’t write to me at all any more. You told me when I was in Zurich, that it is awkward for you when I come to Zurich. Therefore I think it is better if we get together in a different place, where nobody will interfere with our comfort. I will in any case urge that each year we spend a whole month together, so that you see that you have a father who is fond of you and who loves you. You can also learn many good and beautiful things from me, something another cannot as easily offer you. What I have achieved through such a lot of strenuous work shall not only be there for strangers but especially for my own boys. These days I have completed one of the most beautiful works of my life, when you are bigger, I will tell you about it.

I am very pleased that you find joy with the piano. This and carpentry are in my opinion for your age the best pursuits, better even than school. Because those are things which fit a young person such as you very well. Mainly play the things on the piano which please you, even if the teacher does not assign those. That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don’t notice that the time passes. I am sometimes so wrapped up in my work that I forget about the noon meal. . . .

Be with Tete kissed by your


Regards to Mama.

Source: Brain Pickings