
Artwork: Letters To Loved & Photos: @Youthedaddy
This hilarious poem was written by Giles for his one year old son Teddy. You can read more of his work on his blog You The Daddy and follow their adventures on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
YOUR WILLY IS NOT A TOY
.
Yes, you have a willy,
it’s what makes you a boy,
but please be advised, son,
that thing’s not a toy…
.
At this stage of life,
it’s just used for peeing,
so try not to break it
(for your own wellbeing).
.
I know it seems fun
and can be a right laugh,
to give it a tug
while you’re bored in the bath.
.
Or how, when you’re naked,
it makes you quite happy,
to give it a flick
as I’m changing your nappy.
.
And how, yes, it jiggles
whenever you cough,
but yank it much harder,
it just might come off…
.
It’s true, when you stretch it,
it does look quite long,
but don’t pinch the end, son,
that’s all kinds of wrong…
.
It may seem small now,
but that’s perfectly fine.
Just eat all your veggies,
it’ll be bigger than mine.
.
It’s not made of plastic,
so handle with care,
‘cos causing it damage
would be a nightmare.
.
As not much on earth
could be less appealing
than having a todger
with no sense of feeling.
.
And nobody wants that;
it wouldn’t be funny.
You can’t buy another
for love nor for money.
.
Plus when you get older
it’ll be much more fun;
I won’t tell you why yet
‘cos you’re only one…
.
But trust me on this, boy,
when you’re big and tall,
your willy will be your
best friend of them all.