I knew we were in for a rough night when you didn’t eat your chocolate biscuit. You never leave a chocolate biscuit.
And so here we are, your little feverish body tossing and turning around the bed. Me, contorted into an unnamed gnarly yoga pose, hanging on the edge by a butt cheek. You’re always so vehemently independent and rarely come to me for cuddles anymore, so it’s heartbreaking but lovely all at the same time to have you want me so close to you at all times now. Through the pins and needles and endless googling of childhood illnesses, I’ve texted grandma to cancel our plans tomorrow knowing that she will remember all to well what we are going through right now. There was a time that she lay with my hot little sweaty head cradled in her hands too.
It made me think that one day you might find yourself lying in the dark next to your poorly child and if you do, there’s a few things to remember.
Trust your instincts.
You know your child better than anyone and whilst you might not have medical training, you will see the signs that something is not right. Most of the time you’ll know the difference between run of the mill and when its more serious. The more you use your instincts, the stronger they get.
The world will wait. It’s easy to feel bad about cancelling plans and looming deadlines whilst already feeling horrible. But let it go. You are exactly where you need to be right now.
It’s one of the hardest parts of parenting but it’s inevitable. So take a breath and then another like one foot in front of the other and you’ll get through it.
Because we wake up in the morning, you the battle worn little trooper and me, although a shell of a woman, I’m a happier.
In the morning things almost always seem easier.
I know that however painful, I am helping you develop the necessary resilience you need for life. And in helping you I’m also learning to develop resilience I need to watch you go through the pain you will go through in life, pain that I can’t always take away.
But like these rough feverish nights, I’ll always be beside you. We’ll ride it out together.
Until things seem better in the morning.
Written by Charlotte Peach creator of Letters To Loved.