On this first Mother’s Day without you

Artwork: Charlotte Peach

Photo: Alyx Elliott

 

This beautiful letter was written by Alyx Elliott for her daughter Skye who heartbreakingly, was stillborn earlier this year. It was written just a few weeks later on Alyx’s first Mother’s Day.

 

 

 

Mother’s Day, 26 March 2017

My beautiful girl,

You never saw me, from the outside. But you knew me, knew me in a way no-one else ever has. You knew me from the inside. You grew there in my belly for nine months. I am your Mummy. And you are my daughter. And even though we never got to say hello properly, this will never change. I will always be your Mummy, and you will always be my daughter.

Today is Mother’s Day. My very first as a Mum, my very first without you. They will all be without you. But there will never be one that goes by when I don’t think about you, love you, yearn for you, miss you.

It’s been a difficult day. I was determined to find some way to celebrate, as I am so proud to be your Mama. But it was so much harder than I thought, my darling. Because what is a mother without her child? How do I celebrate when I can’t reach out to you, hold you, kiss you? I feel like a fraud sometimes – but I know you’d tell me different. Just the fact that you existed makes it all true.

So today, on this first Mother’s Day without you, I will just tell you what you already know, but I never tire of saying. I love you, Skye, my beautiful girl, and I always will. I am your Mummy.

xxxxx

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2 Comments

  1. Jonty
    July 2, 2017 / 5:01 pm

    Just lovely – you’re both doing Skye proud xxx

  2. Jo
    July 14, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    Beautiful Alyx – I know so many other women and couples going through the loss you have will find comfort in the way you have put your feelings, but also their feelings, into words and knowing that they are not alone in this grief. You are an inspiration to others and the best mum in the world to Skye xxx

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