Your Willy Is Not A Toy

Artwork: Letters To Loved & Photos: @Youthedaddy


This hilarious poem was written by Giles for his one year old son Teddy. You can read more of his work on his blog You The Daddy and follow their adventures on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.




Yes, you have a willy,

it’s what makes you a boy,

but please be advised, son,

that thing’s not a toy…


At this stage of life,

it’s just used for peeing,

so try not to break it

(for your own wellbeing).


I know it seems fun

and can be a right laugh,

to give it a tug

while you’re bored in the bath.


Or how, when you’re naked,

it makes you quite happy,

to give it a flick

as I’m changing your nappy.


And how, yes, it jiggles

whenever you cough,

but yank it much harder,

it just might come off…


It’s true, when you stretch it,

it does look quite long,

but don’t pinch the end, son,

that’s all kinds of wrong…


It may seem small now,

but that’s perfectly fine.

Just eat all your veggies,

it’ll be bigger than mine.


It’s not made of plastic,

so handle with care,

‘cos causing it damage

would be a nightmare.


As not much on earth

could be less appealing

than having a todger

with no sense of feeling.


And nobody wants that;

it wouldn’t be funny.

You can’t buy another

for love nor for money.


Plus when you get older

it’ll be much more fun;

I won’t tell you why yet

‘cos you’re only one…


But trust me on this, boy,

when you’re big and tall,

your willy will be your

best friend of them all.


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