The lesson is … enjoy your snogging days. They’re fun.

Photo: Anniki Sommerville

The following letter was written by Anniki Sommerville for her daughter Rae (when she is older!) Anniki is Super Editor at Selfish Mother (where you can also read more of her brilliant work) or follow her on Instagram.





Dear Rae,

I don’t know how to tell you this but relationships aren’t easy. My first boyfriend was called Aaron and had a mullet and was a big fan of Guns & Roses. He drove a VW Beetle and was constantly tripping over his shoelaces. I lost my virginity to him and he sent me a bunch of red roses the next morning. He lived in New Zealand and we tried to keep things going but it was hopeless. Be mindful of long distance relationships. They’re hard to keep afloat.

My next boyfriend was Danny and he liked to dance around the front room to MC Hammer. He was a REALLY good dancer but was ultimately boring. I used to sit in the kitchen and talk to his Mum who was a great listener and funny. The lesson is don’t fall for the GREAT dancers. They often haven’t had to work on their personality much.

After Danny, there was a long period where I didn’t meet anyone and so I just snogged lots of people. It was okay. I felt a bit lost at the time. But now I feel sad because snogging people isn’t acceptable when you’re in your forties. The lesson is…enjoy your snogging days. They’re fun. Just make sure you don’t feel pressurised into anything else (boys will always try to push their hands down your pants and will tell you their balls are going blue and you need to touch them– it’s a lie).

My next proper boyfriend was Dutch. He was lovely. Much older than me. He was a musician and lived in Amsterdam. I can’t say much more than that except musicians can be difficult to live with.

Your father is also a musician so you probably know that already. Then there was your Dad. Your Dad has flaws like we all do but is also the best Dad you could have. He’s funny. He makes a lot of effort when it comes to this parenting malarkey.  He also inspired Bobby Gillespie who apparently stole his look (this is what your Dad says. I’m not sure I believe him.). The lesson here is that no man is perfect but you’ll find one that is perfect for you.

Love Mum x

P.S. I mean it about the snogging phase. Make the most of it.


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